i just really wanted to say that. omg. because "oh my god" just takes up way to much of my precious energy. i need that energy to stay awake all night long.
i have a new pass time, which is actually an old pass time. its called "never go to bed" and it works like this:
- get out of bed early, say, anywhere between 5 and 8 AM.
- drink numerous cups of coffee and energy drinks.
- find coffee shops that never close.
- read, write, listen to music.
- eat gourmet ice cream.
- lay down in a bed anywhere between 2 and 4 AM.
- repeat.
but i'm going to try it again, right now. however i did things a bit differently today. i actually had to do some strenuous work in the garden with some other bitches and their "action hoes". i laid myself down and let those action hoes go to town on me. no, not really. i actually had to tell those bitches how to use their "action hoes" because, apparently, no one knows what the fuck they are doing.
see, the thing is, i'm in this class, right, and no one seems to know how to take orders, make orders, or just straight up think with that crazy lump of tissue in their domes. i found that i prefer to hang out with people like this because i can boss them around. this class, its a gardening thing, but any old idiot with a black thumb can take it. what this means is that the class is mainly comprised of people who have no idea how to do much of anything, besides talk about their opinions on how they think they should do the things that they are not actually doing. i decided that it would be to the advantage of my mental health if i employed a leadership role that was actually not offered to me, nor to anyone for that matter. i think that i'm doing a really great job at it too. would you like to hear about how good i am at the job that i made up for myself so that i can make everyone do my jobs for me? yes, i think you want to know.
first off, let me tell you how this all came about. one day my professor said something about how she wanted to have a better system to organize things, such as the garden, past, present and future. things just looked bad, no one was keeping any records, crops were not being planted, nothing was getting done the way it should have been, nor was anything getting done when it should have been. the professor said something about a binder that had some notes in it from last seasons crop bullshit so i jumped at this opportunity that i created for myself.
i said, "oh hey megan, ya know, i could hold onto that binder and take care of this for you!"
megan (the professor) said, "oh, okay. ya, that would be good."
now i have a special binder and i get to keep every one's notes in it. so i go around and i ask people what they are doing and i take note or have them give me their notes and i put them in this binder. i do this whenever i don't feel like actually working on anything. sometimes i draw pictures and call them "diagrams". sometimes i draw lines and call them "plans". but my job actually gets really serious because i am one of few people in this class that actually knows that the sky is up and the ground is down. now some of you reading this (those of you that think you know me well) might find this unusual because people like to think that i'm not paying attention when i'm really just pretending like i'm not paying attention. this is how i get away from doing things that i don't want to do; i listen very attentively but then act as though i never heard a word come out of your mouth and in doing so i actively avoid hard work or any displeasing situations. i use this tool very wisely. but in this particular class, i actually don't employ this skill because i find that if i let everyone know that i know everything that is going on, they will listen to me and do things that i want them to do in ways that i find fitting. but the fact that i actually know how to work in a garden makes my made up job even easier to do. for example, i just so happened to be the only person listening to megan talk about whatever she was talking about so i managed to get out to the garden first. because i was the first one there, i had the opportunity to decided what we were going to do (or what everyone else was going to do for me). so i had one person get the tools, one person get the seeds, one person get the plants, and so on. because i was the only person who listened to the daily agenda and i was the first person in the garden, i suddenly turned into Micky mouse in fantasia. i had people flying around with tools in their hands, breaking up clumps of mud, spreading compost, digging holes, planting seeds, fertilizing beds, yahda yahda yahda, and i just doodled in my very special binder! and everyone is so happy that i know what is going on because then i can tell them what is going on and they can actually do something instead of standing around talking about how they want to have kids even though they know that our fragile world can not support more carbon bodies slumping around doing nothing but taking orders form other people who are potentially much less qualified than they. but whatever, sheep need to be herded, i guess.
so anyways, i had to stand around today and hold a clip board... it was hard. no really though, i actually did plant some carrot seeds and i had to show these meat bags how to work an "action hoe" so as to level the beds that i so kindly made for them last week when no one else knew what to do or how to do it.
so my point here is that i'm a little tired right now and the slight bit of physical labor that i had to do today is making it really difficult to stick to my very strenuous schedule of being perpetually awake. another thing that is really throwing a stick in my spokes is that i brought ice cream that is not of the standard of quality that i am accustomed to. its gross. i might just let my room mates have some of it because i have so goddamn much of it.
hey, just a side note, i really actually like the majority of the people in my class and they like me, too. i know this because they told me today, as i was so cheerfully scolding them on racking the dirt (whoa, excuse me, i mean soil) in a manner that i found to be displeasing. i'm not fucking joking... these people and i, we get along pretty fucking swell like. people like me need people like them and vice versa. we complete each other!
okay, i have to get back to torchering myself by lying in my bed but not going to sleep. sometimes i think that i'm dreaming and then i realize that day dreaming is not the same thing as the reality of my relatively unconscious mind that seems to blissfully soar through puzzles of sense and experience which seemingly hold more truth then that of the life that i slowly bump and grind through when my eyes are open.
speaking of open eyes, things are so blurry.
