i don't have time for this

fuck
this is the thing that i tell myself that i want.
i say, "kris, fuck."

but i say, "hormones, no,"


and i realize that i just want someone to rub my back.
no fucking, no stressing. no anxiety. just back rubs.
this is the point when i look at my phone.... pretending that i don't have a phone.
this is the point when i look at the wall... acting like i can see past it.
this is the moment were i forget what time it is.... and then i ask "what is time?"


who made time up?
someone made it up.