i forgot about blog

i had a realization that i have not been my sullen self lately. i mean, sure i sliced my wrist a few weeks ago, but that was for art. sure, i was binge drinking, but that was for celebration. sure, i have been lying my face off to both strangers and my family, but that's because the truth is just too hard for them to understand. for example, if i told the people who's house I'm trying to move into that i don't have a job, they might think that I'm lazy and that i can't pay rent. if i told them that i didn't have any money, they might not want me to move in. so i said i have a job and i have lots of money.

ANYWAYS... i have been unreasonably comfortable in my own head, for once. its because (not really, its not really because of this book) i'm reading a book about brains and how fucked up they are and how fucked up they make the people who own them. in my book, its talking about ADD. speaking of ADD, this bitch sitting next to me needs to wipe that ridiculous smile off of her flat Persian cat face. she has been smiling this whole time, for what, i ask?! i think her face is stuck like that. So my book. my mom got it for me at costco. i thought that i would never read it because i typically don't read the books my mother gets me because they are all self help books and i feel really fucking stupid when i pull out a book on the MAX that has a title like, "You are the reason... why living is worth it"
okay, my mother has never given me a book like that (which is a lie), and if i ever saw someone reading that book (if it exists), i would advise that person to just end it. the book that is... i would advise them to finish it because this book that i'm reading right now, its amazing. i mean, its by no means a self help book, its more of a scientific look into why people and society are like milk and orange juice (did you understand that, that was a metaphor for things that don't mix well).

basically i'm pretty pleased with things. even though everything is so uncertain. its like that saying... the only thing that is certain is that everything is not. maybe that is not how that saying goes, but i think the one i just made up works fine.