if your a bird, i'm a bird too.

i started this shit in august 2010 and in 5 months i wrote/posted more than i did this whole year. i wrote every month except for november. just a thought that i was thinking... that's all.

though, maybe that's not all. why did i even start doing this? why would i want people to read about the things i think of them? or of myself? or of anything for that matter? well it doesn't matter anymore anyways because i know for a fact that i'm the only person who looks at this, and that's actually for the better. see, i'm afraid that i will lose my memory because i already can't remember most things, even if they just happened a few minutes ago. like when people talk to me. i will typically have some minor difficulties in responding to what they said, because i can't remember what they just said, and it will have only been a few seconds earlier that they said it. or, maybe, just maybe... that could be due to low attention span on my behalf. whatever, the point is i'm afraid i will forget everything that has ever happened to me. i'm scared of forgetting everything and then what? my husband, ryan gosling, will have to tell me his name is noha everyday when he comes to my room at the old folks home to read me the story of our love life together. and even though i typically never relate the story with my own life because of my mushy brain is dieing, he still is persistent, until one day, i remember. i mean, sure, i see my kids and grand kids from time to time and i never know who in the world they are, and 'noha' reads me the story over and over, everyday, for only he knows how long, and i never know whats going on... but that one day! that one day over a candle lit dinner, i remember! and we dance! we dance like that dumb ginger in the sun drop commercial. and then i forget and i start yelling and the nurses come and... and.... and... and did i ever tell you that i love the movie the notebook?! see... if i wasn't staying up late, documenting my every tangent, i might have forgotten how much i love ryan gosling and every shitty movie he has ever "acted" in, because for me, that shit is 100% true life real shit. and he loves me too.